CandaceMeiler.com

“God put a million, million doors in the world for His love to walk through. One of those doors is you.”

With Every Act of Love, Jason Gray

Do you ever worry if someone really knew you, they’d run away? If they really took the time to meet the skeletons in your closet, would they politely excuse themselves and hit the door running or would they pull up a chair and have coffee with you? What if they knew all your personal, little quirks no one else knows? Better yet, what if they knew your passionate opinions on current events in the world right now?

If we bared it all, laid it all on the line, held nothing back, I wonder…could we still be friends?

What if I told you I don’t carefully sort my laundry before I wash it? Would you let me do your laundry or would it bother you too much because I don’t do it like you do?

What if I also told you I don’t care one flying flip about how the dishes are loaded in the dishwasher? Would you come behind me and reload it because my way isn’t good enough for you?

If you knew I wasn’t a baseball (or cracker jacks) fan, would you call me un-American, write me off, and find someone else to take to the game or would you invite me anyway…because I’m your friend and you know I’d just be happy to hang with you?

If I told you I read my bible almost every day and everything in me knows I could not get through life without Jesus, but you found out I cuss sometimes and have a drink occasionally, would you judge me and talk about me because I’m not a perfect Christian? Would you avoid me because all my Jesus talk makes you uncomfortable because you believe in something entirely different?

What if you thought I was gay? Would you love me for who you knew me to be or would you turn your back on me because you thought I was suddenly different than you? (Side note: Obviously, I’m not, but this actually happened to me once. The most eye-opening experience of my life.)

What if you knew my past struggles with worry and anxiety were so bad that I have sat in the dark, crying and whispering “Help me Jesus” over and over and over again until I finally fell asleep? Would that be too much emotion for you? Too much baggage?

If I choose not to wear a mask, would you think I’m crazy and irresponsible and have a total disregard for other humans? If I do wear a mask, would you think I’m paranoid or overreacting to all the hype?

If you found out I was a Democrat, would you lump me in with the Far-left Liberals you can’t stand? Or if I was a Republican, or even worse, a Trump supporter? Would our political views end our friendship? Is having respect for the POTUS a deal breaker because it isn’t who you voted for?

Was I kind enough to you before you found out the real me? Did I show you enough love? Did I hug you enough? Did I share a smile with you when you needed it? Or would the knowledge of who I really am change things?

I’m not confrontational by nature. Especially when it comes to politics and religion. My dad always said the only reason you should talk about politics or religion is if you want to lose friends or make enemies. Sadly, I’m beginning to agree.

Our world is becoming a place where hate abounds. I know there is hate in the world. There’s no denying it. Social media makes it more visible and the media thrives on it. Hate is an ugly, bitter thing and I think it must be exhausting to carry that weight All. The. Time.

I can’t wrap my mind around what is happening in the world right now. I don’t know how it’s possible to hate someone just because they are different than me. Is it not acceptable to be different and still love, or at the very least, respect each other?

I haven’t always succeeded at this. Trust me. There were times I flat-out failed. There have been difficult people in my life that it was a challenge to love and respect. God did teach me that some people you have to love from a distance. You can love someone without being their best friend. There are people who have hurt me deeply who I have forgiven, and I wish them all the best. (But I won’t be inviting them over for dinner anytime soon. *Insert winky smiley emoji.*)

Still, I do want to love everyone. I want to be kind. I want to be a friend. This is how I’ve tried to live my life and how I’ve tried to raise my children. I want everyone else to be like this, as well. But that’s not how it is, and our world is suffering for it.

And I think God must be very sad.

In the bible, Matthew 22:37-40 says, “Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.””

Read that again. The entire law is based on these two commandments. Love God. Love your neighbor. Totally my interpretation, but I feel like if we perfectly practiced these two things, if we learned to love God and everyone else the way we want to be loved, nothing else would matter.

Political opinions wouldn’t matter. Race wouldn’t matter. Opinions on Covid-19 wouldn’t matter. Someone’s latest rant on Facebook sure as heck wouldn’t matter. I feel like we could fail at everything else if we could just succeed at loving God and being kind and decent and loving to other humans.

I look at what is happening in our country today and I often ask myself “what can I do to fix it? Is there anything I can do to change it?” But I always come up with the same answer: “I’m just one person. I can’t fix anything.”

Then it occurred to me: When you don’t know what to do, do what you know.

Mother Teresa once said, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” Change starts at home, and I know how to teach my kids to be kind and decent humans. I know how to listen and be a friend. I know how to smile. I know how to show love. I know how to be kind.

And I know how to pray. I know how to pray for healing in our nation, our states, our cities, our churches. Our relationships.

Some may call me weak and naïve for preaching “love is the answer.” I’m ok with that. I know what it’s like for people to believe things about me that aren’t true, and it’s taken me about 42 years to fully accept myself for who I am. This I know: I am not weak. I am not naïve. And I would rather spend my life spreading love than spewing hate.

I’m under no illusions that my words here will make a difference, so I’m going to make a difference the only way I know how. I’m going to go out and keep doing what I know.

I hope I can be a door that God’s love can walk through.

And I hope, through it all, we can still be friends.