CandaceMeiler.com

“Hugs are one of the reasons God gave us arms.”

Unknown

Not a lot has changed in my day to day life since this pandemic entered our lives, and I almost feel bad to admit it. Minus the school drop off, I’ve still been going through my normal daily routine. Get up, go to work—which I do not take for granted—and come home. It’s true that life has tremendously slowed down for us, but we are still working, and work has been busier than it normally would be this time of year. So, it’s safe to say we haven’t felt the full effect of the stay-at-home orders like so many have. In fact, we’ve rather enjoyed the fact that we have to stay at home in the evenings and on the weekends because days like that were few and far between before social distancing became a part of our society.

Social. Distancing. Two words I wish had never been joined together. Two months ago, I’d never even heard the term. Now, however, the phrase makes me cringe. It has become a part of our everyday life. It’s on the news, social media, and comes up in conversations daily. Some people have strong opinions about it while others create funny memes about teaching their kids or significant other to respect it. (Truthfully, I haven’t seen any memes like that, but all you meme creators need to get on it because those would be good ones!) We have to wear masks in public and follow the arrows down the grocery store aisles so we don’t come too close to other shoppers, and heaven forbid we talk about getting together with a friend without tagging on “while adhering to social distancing, of course,” for fear we’ll get shamed at the mere suggestion of spending time with someone who isn’t immediate family. Gasp.

Last week, I completely lost my mind. I forgot where I was and this new world we’re living in and I hugged my friend. I met someone new, he reached out to me, and I shook his hand. (After which, I profusely apologized as he offered a smile…and a dollop of hand sanitizer.) Then, I handed something to a coworker and she thought I was going in for a hug, so we went with it and I hugged her, too! What was I thinking?!

I’ll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking that I need a stinkin’ hug!

A hug is one of my very favorite things. I love to hug and be hugged. To me, a hug is a brief moment wrapped in your favorite warm, fuzzy blanket. A hug is sitting by the fire with your hands wrapped around a fresh mug of steaming, hot coffee. A hug is curling up in your comfiest chair with a bowl of your mom’s homemade chicken and noodles or napping in your hammock on a warm, spring day as the breeze rustles the leaves overhead. I sigh just thinking about a good hug because it makes me feel all bubbly inside. I realize that’s a lot of pressure to put on a hug, but a hug means a great deal to me.

Hugs speak so many different things. They say “hello” to your spouse or significant other after spending the day apart and they say “I’m sorry” after a fight with the same. They say “goodbye” to your mom and dad after spending the day with them and “I’m proud of you” to your child after she brought up her math grade. They say “good morning” and “good night.” They say “good to see you” to your friends at church or “omg! I thought I’d never see you again!” to an old college friend you, well…thought you’d never see again. A hug expresses love, longing, comfort, friendship, forgiveness, sadness, and, in some cases, can leave a lasting effect you recall days, months, or even years later.

Sometimes hugs need no words or reason. Those are the ones you share with family or friends who, at some point, crossed your path and left an impression on you. No matter how big or small the impression might be, they will always have a special place in your heart and you in theirs. Whenever you meet, the embrace says more than your words ever could and those…those are my favorite kind.

I really am ok with this whole social distancing thing to the extent that I have to stay home. I’m not a person that needs to go out every weekend and be around tons of people. It’s not that I mind being around people. I just don’t have to be around them. But when I do see my people, I want to hug them!

But hugs are few and far between these days and it makes me sad.

Isn’t that what usually happens, though? In the words of the 80’s hair band, Cinderella: “Don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” You don’t really learn to appreciate something until you lose it, or in this case, until you’re told you can’t do it anymore.

This pandemic has taught me a lot about slowing down. Probably because it forced me to slow down. It has taught me to appreciate the little things more. There is a gorgeous Knockout Rose bush in front of my office building. It is in full bloom with beautiful, hot pink roses and, cliché as it may be, I literally stopped to smell them last week. We’ve had a family dinner—me, my husband, and our five teenage/young adult kids—every week for the last six weeks. You guys…if you know anything about our family dynamic and our geography, a weekly family dinner is something that could never have happened for us had it not been for the slow down effect the pandemic has had on our world. And, for my immediate family who still freely hug me (well, most of them, anyway,) I’ve found myself hanging on a little tighter because I know this time together, just like this season we are all in, won’t last forever.

I hope that you have all found little things to be grateful for over the last several weeks. I hope in the midst of the panic, you’ve been able to find a little peace. I hope in the middle of the fear, your faith has grown a little stronger. I know many of you have had your world turned upside down, and my heart hurts for you. As the daily hustle has slowed down, I hope you’ve had window of time to set your anxiety aside and, in some small way, you’ve been able to find something beautiful in the simplicity of everyday life.

For me—this week, anyway—it’s how much I miss and love hugs.

I understand that social distancing has its purpose. It’s necessary and I think it has been successful in what it was created for—to flatten the curve. But please forgive us huggers if we slip up and revert to an old way of life. Forgive us if we forget and fall back to the core of who we are and accidentally hug someone or our manners suddenly appear and we shake a man’s hand. Forgive us if we forget to be socially distant. Show us a little grace, ok? We are trying. This is hard.

And I know a lot of people could use a hug right now.

I am one of them.